Siouxsie's Space











{January 10, 2015}   The One Where I Find Out Who I Am

Can’t decide if I’m the responsible one
Or if I am the reason other people
Have to work so hard.

Try as much as possible to be okay.
It doesn’t hurt.
I feel fine.
I don’t want to scream.
Smile. Smile. Smile.

Still, it seeps through.
I scream in my car.
Want to break things.
Wish I was someone else.
Anyone.

Try harder.
Love more.
Try to do for others.
Still, they see through me.

They know I’m not a good person.
I know it.
I don’t know why, exactly.
I just know.
Pain makes me brittle
My personality makes me a bitch.

I wouldn’t trust me with anything
Important.
Really–I wouldn’t trust me with
Anything.

Wish that things were different.
Wishing.
How useless is that?
Might as well wish for world peace
For all the good it does.

I pretend to be a punk
Pretend to be a mom
Don’t really feel it.
Just feel wrong.
I thought once I was good at these things.
Now–I’m not so sure.

I’m doing it wrong.
But which way is right?
I doubt I’ll ever figure it out.

-sll
1/10/2015
4:13pm
Somewhere in Texas

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“I’m doing it wrong.
But which way is right?
I doubt I’ll ever figure it out.”
The lines are true above. We must do our best and hope for a good landing. Thank you for the amazing poetry.

Liked by 1 person



Siouxsie says:

Thank you so much. I’m always nervous about putting out there. 🙂

Liked by 1 person



It was very good. I liked this type of poetry.

Liked by 1 person



Siouxsie says:

Thank you! 🙂

Liked by 1 person



You are welcome.

Liked by 1 person



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